You sighed deeply, resting your cheeks on your palms, as you propped your elbows on the table, trying to focus on the work in hands. It was rather difficult to concentrate in anything really.
The image of the angel burnt on the inside of your eyelids and you remembered how he had been acting strange towards you in the last couple of weeks. How Castiel avoided you like the plague, going to the point where he would completely ignore your presence in the same room and leave as fast as he could whenever you were around. It’d already hurt enough weren’t you harboring feelings for that exact same angel.
You grimaced at the very thought, grunting loudly. The sound caught the attention of the younger Winchester, who had been sitting across from you, reading from another book.
"(Y/n)?" He frowned upon your disheveled state. Your eyebrows shot up in surprise and you glanced at him.
"You’ve been sighing and grunting a lot lately." Sam explained with a glint of amusement on his eyes, but still edging worry.
"I just… can’t focus." You shrugged. "I suppose I need some more coffee." You said, making a movement to get up, but Sam beat you to it, standing up and, firmly but gently, pressing you down on your seat by your shoulders.
"No more coffee for you. You haven’t eaten anything for over a day, no one can live on caffeine, (y/n). Honestly, you look exhausted."
"I bet I do." You murmured, rubbing your eyes as if on cue.
"Go rest a bit. I’ll grab something for us to eat."
You appreciated that even at the verge of exploding, Sam managed to take care of you, like he always had done. You placed your hand over his and squeezed lightly, trying to express at least part of your gratitude.
He smiled and kissed the top of your head. “I’ll be right back.”
You watched as he moved away and, only when he was out of sight , let your body relax, falling back onto the chair. You closed the book in front of you and glanced around. You considered taking a nap, but there was too much caffeine in your blood, you’d need to spend that energy and, once it was over, you surely would black out.
You stretched your arms and legs and heard your joints popping with a sigh of relief. You were in the midst of getting up when there was a flutter of wings followed by a loud thud. Your heart sped off and you immediately looked up, startled.
"Cas!" His name fell from your lips in a cry and you rushed to the side of the angel, kneeling beside his laid form. You reached to touch him, but stopped as you took in all the injuries, afraid of only worsening it. "What happened?"
"Angels." He fought to speak, like if it caused a great pain. You flinched in empathy.
"Where are you hurt?" Your voice failed on the last word, expressing your dread for the angel. Castiel refused to meet your eyes even at that moment. "Please, Cas. I need you to tell me." He sighed.
"Stomach, left shoulder and… back." He muttered.
"Ok." You said, trying to stead yourself. "Do you think you can get up?"
Castiel nodded and you helped him up, careful not to touch any of the wounds as your wrapped your arm around his middle and placed his right arm draped over your shoulders to support himself. You weren’t sure were to take him too, but eventually led him to your room.
"Take off your coat and shirt." You bluntly ordered, entering the nurse mode so you wouldn’t be embarrassed. He seemed surprised. "So I can see your wounds." You explained.
He still didn’t move. You sighed and reached for his coat. “May I?” You asked and felt your heart shattering at his hesitation as he held your wrists.
Did he not trust you? Or just didn’t want you to touch him? Both possibilities hurt.
Finally, Castiel nodded and let go of you. You smiled awkwardly and pushed the coat off his shoulders with the suit jacket and silently cursed yourself at your trembling fingers as you took off his tie and unbuttoned his shirt. Once his upper body was visible, you analyzed the damage with a frown, trying not to linger your eyes on other unnecessary parts.
One particularly nasty gash at his shoulder and three smaller injuries at his stomach, you saw his muscles tensing as you glanced at his back. You lifted an eyebrow. “Are you healing yourself?”
"A little maybe, but I’m too weak to completely heal the wounds."
"Right." You spoke, not mentioning how his back was perfectly (and I mean perfect) fine. "Sit down."
He sat at the edge of your bed with a huff, seeming relieved he could rest. You quickly ran to the bathroom, gathering everything you could need from the first aid and rushed back to Castiel. You decided it would be better to start on his shoulder.
"It’ll sting a bit, ok?" You said as you kneeled on the bed and started cleaning the wound. A small hiss left his lips at the contact, but he soon grew quiet. After finishing, you looked up at his face and was surprised to meet his deep blue eyes staring directly at you, with mix of pain and some unknown feeling. "Now, that’s the worse part. I’ll stitch it up. Can you handle it?"
Castiel nodded and you smiled reassuringly. You did a quick job and he didn’t complain a bit, which made things easier. As soon as you were done, you gave him a proud smile and went to clean the three other injuries, much smaller than the first.
You patched them and sighed when it was all done. “There you go. Is there anything else I could do?”
He looked down bashfully and you thought you were imagining his cheeks flushing.
"My-My back." Castiel whispered. You tilted your head to the side (an habit you had caught from him), confused.
"There’s nothing…" But then it hit you. It would explain why he seemed in so much pain and discomfort. "Castiel." You called abruptly, waiting until he decided to look up to speak again. "Is it your wings?" You questioned softly.
"Yes." The answer was so quiet that you wondered if you had heard it correctly.
"Can I help you with them?" You offered. "I mean… I can’t see them, but… do you think I could help in anyway?"
"Your senses are too limited to perceive my wings." He explained. "But I might be able to make it so you could see them."
You nodded your head and took a step back, giving him some space. Castiel took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He recited something, probably in enochian, as you couldn’t understand a single word.
Your eyes had lingered on his lips as he spoke, but you saw a shadow growing over his shoulders from you peripheral vision and your eyes widened as they met the large black wings. You gaped in awe.
"They’re so beautiful." You said and Castiel smiled at the words.
You carefully approached him, never leaving his gaze on yours, to make sure he was alright with your proximity. He seemed nervous, but didn’t do anything to stop you. You took a good look at his wings and grimaced at the blood sticking to the feathers. You decided those wounds would be better taken care off with different instruments.
"I’ll be right back." You warned before you left.
You came back holding a bowl with warm water and a fluffly towel. You climbed onto the bed and kneeled behind him. You bathed the towel on the bowl.
"May I?" You asked.
Castiel was glad you were behind him, this way you couldn’t see how flustered and bashful he looked. “Yes.” He said.
You were gentle as you cleaned the blood and stopped whenever he flinched, asking if you could continue, he would always agree. You stopped once it looked well enough and placed the bowl filled with now cold water on the floor, together with the red stained towel. You scooted back to him and plucked the loose feathers, apologizing at the ones that weren’t as loose as you thought.
Instead of saying you were done, absent-mindedly, you ran your fingers through his wings, brushing the soft feathers. Castiel sighed and you noticed what you had been doing.
"Sorry." You quickly said, stopping immediately.
"No. It felt good."He said. You smiled and went back to thread your fingers on the raven wings, missing the happy smile and closed eyes on the angel’s face.
The silence that followed felt comfortable, just both of you enjoying each other company until Castiel decided to break it.
"You’re the first human I ever showed my wings to."
"Is that so?"
"The wings are the most vulnerable part of an angel. It requires great trust to deliberately unfold them with your back turned to someone."
"I’m glad you trust me enough for that."
"I'd trust you with all my grace, (y/n). You are the most wonderful being I’ve ever met."
His words, made your heart jump with happiness and your smile to widen. “Thank you, Cas.” You whispered.
"It have been difficult for me to even stand next to you lately." Castiel said, confusing you. Your fingers stopped their motion on his feathers. "Your soul is so appealing, so… beautiful, I can’t help but being dragged to you every time you’re close to me. I tried to avoid it, but… I can’t. Not anymore." He confessed shyly.
The beam in your face could lit the whole room as you heard his words and you jumped off of the bed, standing in front of the sitting angel. He seemed worried, but as soon as his eyes met yours, a soft smile graced his features. You hugged him, chuckling softly and he pulled you onto his lap, wrapping his arms around you like if you could vanish at any second, his wings folded back in place.
"I believe I love you, (y/n)."
"I love you too, Cas." You looked up at him and pressed a chaste, tentatively kiss on his lips. He replied immediately, grinning.
You settled comfortably on his chest. The caffeine had already worn out of your system and you felt all the sleepless hours came back into a yawn. Castiel noticed and placed you back on the bed, laying next to you and unfolding one of his wings over your form as he cuddled you.
"Thank you, (y/n)." He didn’t specify for what, but you knew.
"Any time." You mumbled, nuzzling into his chest.